コース名 Free Journal 作文日 2010/7/19
レッスン番号 FJ20071 添削日 2010/7/21
カテゴリー 人とのかかわりを書く 担当インストラクター Charles
課題質問:

良いご近所さんはどんな人ですか?

添削結果
あなたの文章 ・
指摘箇所

I think _ good neighbor is quiet and friendly. For example, my neighbor sometimes have (1)party with (2big stereo2). I hope my neighbor stop late night (1)party. Also, _ good neighbor puts out rubbish correctly. My neighbor always puts out rubbish (3)in night. My neighbor is _ kind person but she is not so good as _ neighbor.

添削結果 I think a good neighbor is quiet and friendly. For example, my neighbor sometimes has parties with loud music. I hope my neighbor stops having late night parties. Also, a good neighbor puts out rubbish correctly. My neighbor always puts out rubbish at night. My neighbor is a kind person but she is not so good as a neighbor.
解説 (1)名詞の形・複数名詞
Use plural forms of countable nouns when making a generalizations. You are not talking about one particular party, but your neightbor's parties in general.

(2)正確な単語の選択
It is unnatural to use "big" with "sound" or "music". "Loud music" is more natural.

(3)正確な前置詞の選択
I know it is hard to remember, but here are the most common ones:
at night / in the morning / in the evening.
その他のポイ ント Remember to use articles (冠詞 a/an/the) with singular countable nouns. Also, note that British people usually say "rubbish" whereas Americans usually say "trash" or "garbage".

Here is a more natural version of your last sentence:
My neighbor is a nice person, but she is not very good as a neighbor.
総合評価
コメント Yoichiro,

Your sentence structure is good and your writing is free from major errors, but you make some mistakes with articles and verb forms. Be careful with time prepositions (in/on/atの前置詞). For example, "...at the wrong time", "at night", etc.

Thank you for your effort and good luck.

Cheers,
Charles
添削総評

1 コミュニケーションの妨げになるようなミスがある。
2 伝えたいことはわかるが、相手が少し誤解してしまう可能性がある。
3 伝えたいことは相手に伝わっているが、表現にややぎこちなさがある。
4 ほぼネイティブのようなレベルである。
5 完璧である。